Valley of the Trolley Dollies

As a long serving international Investment Banker, I don’t feel the cold.

This is because my feet never touch the gound - I walk on a carpet of defaulted debtors, and wear a tighly fitting suit made of the pelts of orphans, which, because it was still warm when it went on, keeps me at a constant 23 celsius beneath my newly purchased (with Taxpayers money) Blackglamma Mink.

The canteen here is like Bleak house at the moment, what with the number of people we’re ‘Looking after’ til their relatives can cough up what’s owed.

Anyone need a kidney, let us know - we’re sorting our “Guests” by blood type at the moment….

Loving this thought from “Get Rich Slowly”

Tip! The perfect is the enemy of the good. When you spend so much time looking for the “best” choice that you never actually do anything, you’re sabotaging yourself. And an ideal solution that you don’t follow through with is worse than a good solution that you’ll actually use. Choose a good option and act.

Wise words indeed.

the trading floor, yesterday afternoon

With the news that big bank profits are back, and we can all look forward to vast bonuses and a reinstatement of the universal equilibrium this year, I have taken time out of laughing like a loon whilst sodomising third world children to post the following from my lair in a hollowed out volcano in Canary Wharf:

“For immediate release:”

Decadence is back. Tips for Top earners # 1.

Have you ever had pate de foie gras smeared all over your erect member, a thumbful of quince jelly plopped on top of your, er, cathedral dome, and the whole lot licked slowly and sensuously off by a young gourmand as the heat of your throbbing parts turn the foie gras to a buttery richness?

I highly recommend it. Especially with a nice meursault to follow.