Archive for the ‘On writing’ Category

episode 441

Monday, January 12th, 2009

In which I am undone by the generosity of friends.

 I wake, at about 05:15 this morning, with the realisation that all is not well. My body feels hot - too hot; feverish, almost, my limbs tired and a little achey, and my head is gently pulsing with that not-quite-a-headache-but-definitely-not-an-absence-of-pain that can mean only one thing: I have a hangover.

Me: The king of clean living, have, what I believe is referred to in certain louche circles as A B*stard Behind The Eyes.

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coldwatch # 4

Friday, January 9th, 2009

So. Much. Better.

Still a little ‘coughy,’ and the right nostril keeps seizing up - but whether that’s the cold or my youthful overindulgences coming back to haunt me is debatable. I’m going with the viral infection.

But, all in all, I can confidently say that I can see this cold thing fading. Every day a little more. And yes, it’s a slow and annoying process - I wanted to go back to the gym this weekend, but don’t want to hammer my body if it’s still mending - but it’s happening, and happening progressively, so all’s good.

The weather continues to be bitterly cold and dark and I’ve clearly being living in England too long, if my conversation has now become a series of statements of the bleeding obvious about the weather. It’s January. In Northern Europe. What do you expect?

Good things: The trains have, by and large, been on time (not an unremarkable event, I promise you), and, most importantly of all, IT HASN’T RAINED!

David and I have this ongoing clash over weather: I love the summer - hot days, balmy nights, give me a tropical Island Paradise any time (except, oddly enough, for the two weeks at the end of the year: Christmas is not Christmas if it’s not accompanied by Northern European weather. D, on the other hand, would quite happily Christmas in Australia). D, on the other hand, hates heat. “If I’m cold,” he reasons, “I can put on another layer. But if I’m hot, it’s impossible to take off any more clothes and I’m still uncomfortable.”

You can’t really argue with the logic, but still, I prefer heat. I dislike cold. I LOATHE rain. Loathe it. Snow, I can just about deal with - though it gets a bit hateful when it starts turning to slush. But rain - especially when one has no choice other than to go out in it - is pure spite from Heaven.

And like all spite from heaven - natural disasters, small children falling over - I have no problem watching it through glass - double glazing or HDTV screen, for example - but have no desire to actually partake.

Dinner last night was posh fillet of fish - “Pieces du Poisson,” perhaps? Basically, a six pack of finger rolls. Six Birds Eye Fish Fingers. Bake the fingers, split the rolls. Add to each roll a little salad, a dusting of finely grated cheddar, stuff the baked crispy fish fingers into the rolls, top with a drizzle of (surprisingly sweet) M&S Tartare Sauce, and devour. A bit no-really-cooking, but soooo good.

Lunch today, sadly, will have to be purchased, as the evening ran away with me; I spent it watching my new favourite programme - something that has that twat from Top Gear who isn’t the Clarkson Twat, and features lots of people running around in mud and swimming pools and receiving blows to the head (and not the good sort of blows, neither). I watched it in sheer horror, and found myself laughing and clapping like Liza Minnelli in a biscuit factory. Shameful but fun.

And I finished reading “The Secret Adversary”. This was Agatha Christie’s second published work (at the age of 32) and it is, quite frankly, a preposterous little book. In places, it’s beyond preposterous, but it’s a book I love reading and re-reading. It reminds me in places of some of Herge’s Tintin books. Having started her career with a Poirot detective novel, she, here, goes off on a sort of John Buchan ‘Adventure’ or proto-thriller type of thing so that, as opposed to a classic ‘whodunit’ we get a sort of ‘will-they-manage-to-do-it.’

Where it falls down is that it’s slightly lacking in any real tension - but then many of her books are, being more cerebral than genuinely emotional; the dialogue is a bit odd in places, but the book is 84 years old, and people - of a certain sort - most likely spoke in that “Spiffing, Top Ho,” (where the phrase Top Ho doesn’t refer to an excellent prostitute).

Where it stands is in the basic plotting, and the way that the dénouement, once it comes, is perfectly logical, in light of what’s been laid out before. By which I mean that all the loose ends are tied up, and all the little plot points - the point of which, in the main, has been to diffuse the readers’ suspicion, and create what tension there is - are explained, so the reader doesn’t feel cheated.

The Tommy & Tuppence stories (the two main characters - protagonists seems a rather grand phrase for so many of Christie’s characters) get infinitely better as they progress, so that by the time we get to By The Pricking of my Thumbs  or Postern Of Fate, we’ve got some very good writing indeed. Even N or M, set during WWII, is, if I recall correctly, a cracking good read, with a highly surprising dénouement. But before we get to them, I need to read the short story collection Partners in Crime, which is slated for the book after next.

The weekend awaits, and is scheduled to include a trip to the garage with Sid the Car at 8am tomorrow for his annual checkup and first MOT cert; a haircut; a (frugal) trip to the supermarket; the tidying of, and discarding of as much as I can of, my home filing; writing - I have a final draft of a novel to polish, the first draft of the next novel to start, and a few short stories to tidy and send off to various places. Not all of it will be accomplished, but the first thing, this evening, is to decide what I’m going to do, ‘cos this is the weekend when the writing starts in earnest.

Have a great one, y’all!

525,600

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

 

It’s been a while since I wrote, hasn’t it? Well, I’ll make no apologies.

A year ago, I changed jobs, moving from my small boutique Japanese house (Bamboo Splinter Capital) to a Ma-hooo-sive British Financial Behemoth (Feng Shui Corp).

At the end of the first week, I felt like this (roughly: “This is a zoo; I’m in over my head; I’ve got to keep going, ‘cos they seem to think I can do this, but I have my doubts).

At the end of the first three months, a period during which I had been overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the place and it’s challenges, I felt like “I can’t fix this place. But they don’t expect me to fix it. all they want is for me to fix the piece in front of me, then move on to the next, and the next, and so on…” And it felt better. I felt better.

The last couple of weeks - almost the biggest challenge I’ve seen in 20+ years in this industry - not quite as hard as going to work at 10pm on Sep 11th 2001 and working night and day for a week whilst not knowing which of your colleagues were alive or dead - has been an emotional rollercoaster.

It’s only money, this collapsing of banks. But behind this money are people - people like me - whose jobs are gone, whose lives are possibly ruined. And me - softy that I am - I can’t easily disassociate from that fact. So I end up in a rather stressed condition.

 On the 6th, I sent this email to a friend:

I spent yesterday throwing up.

By 2pm there was only bright yello bile, and it was absolutely horrible.

I wanted to die.

Curled in the fetal position and slept most of the afternoon.

Ate some toast and sipped water at about 6:30.

didnt throw.

Ate a little more toast and sipped a little more water.

Felt better.

Havent chucked today, so i think i’m back on form.

 

work is v stressful right now; i hope i’m not getting an ulcer, as they run in the family.

i’m sure i’m not.

 

glad youre feeling better. we keep on keeping on.

I spent the last two weeks being asked to review and report on banks that were expected to collapse. Yesterday,

My boss: “Here, Derek: It’s been ages since any banks collapsed. You losing your touch?”

Me (under my breath): “Cheeky f*cker.”

And in the midst of it all, I’m doing two writing classes: An online one courtesy of the Germen, and a face-to-face one in London on Saturday Mornings.

My soundtrack today is seasons of love from rent because it’s a year since I started this job, and in that year i’ve become closer friends with people I was previously acquaintances with, I’ve met and amde friends with people I’d never previously met (and with whom I now exchange, on average 170 text messages a month), I’ve had a lodger who was a best friend, D and I have laughed so much, I’ve had a 40th birthday that stretched over three months of parties, I’ve had Christmas in Mousall, and Easter in Disney, and I’ve lived, as Dickens would have it, through ‘the best of times, the worst of times,’ but I’ve never been happier.

 

And on we go…