forward
I’m not looking back any more. Those end-of-year reviews? Not this year. It was a summer filled with fun and love and joy. I never wanted to be 40 (it’s ancient, really, isn’t it?), but the alternative seemed a little less palatable. And the summer - the garden party, the regattas, the dinners and the dressing up and the whole unmitigated joy and love (I said that already, didn’t I) was wonderful. As was the September trip to NY with my parents. I finally rediscovered how much I loved writing, and being around writers, and the two classes I took on my fiction writing have made me feel like this is something I NEED to do - not just would like to, or would enjoy daydreaming about: I NEED to write and get published. Not for the money; not for the validation - I know I’m a good writer - but because in some way, to do anything else feels almost like constant masturbation without orgasm - always straining towards something, and never really doing anything more than wanking in front of the computer.
But large swathes of the rest of 2008 have been pretty shit, to be honest. Deaths. Friends in legal trouble. Friends getting sick. Worry and fear and stress as the finanical carpet on which our lives rest began to unravel beneath our feet. Culminating in the feeling that I simply couldn’t cope and a terrible depression that just felt like a big black wet rubber blanket being thrown over my head: No escape, no hope, nothing to be done.
Bollocks. So far this week: The heating packed up. The shower died. I heard strong rumours that my financial future may be severely affected by the current financial conditions in my industry.
It’s not gonna matter. I’m not gonna let it. Head up. You’re bigger and stronger than all of this. You have beautiful people and beautiful things around you, the voices say; and I have a decent brain and wit and some talents, and a huge amount of things to look forward to.
And that’s what I’m doing: looking forward. Letting go of an annus horibilis (no, not you Carlie). More of that to come…
For now, the one little bit of looking back is the list of musics from 08 that I am looking forward to blasting out of the speakers into ‘09.
In no particular order:
This is Alphabeat - Alphabeat (who, I’m told, have been dumped by their record co. WTF)
Discipline – Janet Jackson (her best pop album in a long time; shame it tanked)
Somewhere in the real world – Vanessa Amorosi (it just rocks)
Let it Go – Will Young (his best album, IMHO. Again, shame it seems to be tanking)
Way to Normal – Ben Folds (well, a third of it; the bit that’s not filled with bitterness and negativity)
Funhouse – Pink (cos it’s fun and raucous)
And Winter Came – Enya (Cos it’s Enya. And she’s not U - Fucking - 2!)
The Alesha Show – Alesha Dixon (Cos it’s nice to see a fresh(ish) face on the scene. And Xenomania have done the works with her - check out Cinderella Shoe)
Circus – Britney Spears (Cos she is loopy, isn’t she. Let’s see: Child star? Check. Biggest hit had her dressed up as a little girl? Check. Bad mother? Check. Drug fiend? Check? Boozehoud? Chec? Unsuitable / unstabel husband? Check? Bad relationship with at least one of her parents? Check. Liza Minelli’s mother? Oh, wait… Apart from that one, she’s bascially Judy fuckign Garland, isn;t she? Yay!)
The Circus - Take That (Because the inclusion of the definitve article makes for a very different album - one of their finest, frankly, if a little ‘grown up’ - and proves they are not crazed, drink-drug befuddled bad mothers with career trajectories like Lorna Luft’s old ma. Though Robbie may rejoin them next year…)
C’mon – Keith Anderson (’Cos Country can be wonderful, and Keith - of whom I know nothing other than I love his album from front to back, and he’s not too bad on the eys neither - is a prime example)
Metropolis: The Chase Suite – Janelle Monae (’Cos It’s Genius. Psycho-Bladerunner-Hey Ya Crazyness. Like Michael Jackson should be doing. She’s getting a UK launch next yr. Should be good.)
Backwoods Barbie – Dolly Parton (’Cos it’s Dollie. And it’s got lovely tunes, great lyrics, and a cover of “She drives me crazy” that almost improves on the original!)
Spotlights and Catfights – Sugababes (Never had a SB album. Never wanted one. Then this one came along - filled with hit after hit after hit. Except it’s tanking. Boo! The curse of Derek strikes again.)
Hurricane – Grace Jones (Cos It’s Grace. And because “Williams’ Blood” alone - lifting the veil on the aloof icon and showing her human side - is worth the cost fo the whole thing).
Alchemy: GST Reloaded – Ultra Nate. (For playing loudly through headphones whilst running. It CAN NOT be beaten!)