my sexual failings
“Why did you break up with me?”
“Well… You were a nice guy. But you had… Well, mental health issues.”
“You thought I was crazy?”
“Mmmm. For, well, quite a while there, you thought you were Jesus. Don’t you think that’s a bit delusional?”
A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (dir: Chris Waitts) is a short little film. It’s low budget. It’s British. It had D, Irma Frodite and I alternately screaming with laughter at the hapless Waitt’s attempts to get his myriad ex girlfriends to explain just why he had been dumped by every woman he ever went out with (hint: besides mental issues, he clearly has mother issues) and then choking up when the film takes a, in hindsight, not unexpected turn away from the comedic to the almost existentially melancholic realisation that you can’t - no matter how much you long to - ever go back.
Apart from an interlude featuring 6 Viagra (viagrae?) A dozen bottles of San Miguel and a near kicking on the streets of Soho, which was a little obviously filler, the film is brilliant - very funny, sad, and like the best art, it gives us what are, perhaps, not startling revelations about the human condition, but confirms that we are all, in our limitless ability to get it spectacularly wrong then waste our lives in regret, as equally screwed up as each other.
See it.
Tags: d, irma, movies, my sexual failures, reviews