Valley of the Trolley Dollies

My friend Snow White writes: “…that latest vid with Madonna and Justin Timberlake - good lighting she looks younger than he does. Hmmm”.

To which I reply:

We like Esser. He rocks. And he looks like he’d do you behind a bus shelter, as opposed to keeping his overcoat on while his mum dances round in her scanties.

Theme is Hollywood Glamour. I’m going as Tom Cruise. Should I wear…

(a) a shirt, white socks and white underpants like in Risky Business?

(b) khakis, a military jacket and aviators like in Top Gun?

(c) a t-shirt saying ‘closet homosexual’ (which I actually own; don’t ask) and a bag marked ‘big bag o’ Engrams’ (which I also already own; again, don’t ask) containing a copy of dianetics and an engram reader?

Dial 0898 112 1101 / 02 or 03 to register your vote.

calls cost 50p/min, and there’s no guarantee that they’ll be counted towards my final decision. the judges decision is final. tom cruise is short. any other suggestion is slanderous. or is that libellous. god bless scientology.

‘I dislike modern memoirs.  They are generally written by people who have either entirely lost their memories, or have never done anything worth remembering.’

Oscar Wilde

I’m not sure that Oscar ever actually said this (I’ve never seen it quoted before), but it sounds like the sort of thing he might have, particularly if he’d ever had to sit through the collected ‘memories’ of Mesdames Price, Kantona and Mc Laughlin. Not to mention Messrs Beckham and Rooney.