Archive for April, 2008
extrenema
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008I dreamt last night about Madonna. She was lovely. A little neurotic (went slightly Una Stubbsy when I pointed out that the New York Times on her coffee table was yesterdays; ran off to the depths of her gracious Georgian townhouse and returned seconds later with tomorrow’s New York Times), and she made me PG Tips tea.
She gave me a goodie bag featuring a Mexican (Mexican?) promo copy of her new cd “Greatest Hearts Volume Three,” and explained the occassional bumps from overhead as “Thats Justin, playing Twister with the kids again. I hope they’re not too rough on him,” before graciously but firmly steering me towards the door.
She’d love to chat, she explained, but she was running late for an appointment. “I’m having my daily extrenema, you see, and, well, Uri hates it when his clients are late.”
Extrenema?
“You know,” she said. “Where they shoot pureed ginger, wasabi and sake oil up yer fundament. Like a normal enema, only more…” she paused, searching for the right word.
“Extreme?” I ventured.
Then the alarm went off.
so tired
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008So tired today.
A combination of 2 early mornings over the weekend (so much to do - now that we no longer have the lodger. What? I hadn’t mentioned the lodger? Oh, so much to tell…) and a poor nights sleep on Saturday night / Sunday morning (how one can be awakened by snowfall is still a mystery to me; but awakened I most definitely was).
To make matters worse, I stayed up till 11pm last night reading Blogs. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed them all - Bob, Dan,Matt, Glittery Lee, Mark,Homer; even Joe, with his usual hagiography of the Black Party (I never knew he was a homosexual; that was such a twist!).
My alarm is set for 5:45 each morning so I can be at the not-so-new-now-I’ve-been-there-six-months job by 07:30 (what? another part of my life I’ve been a little quiet on over the past six months? Oh, we should talk…). But, even without that 5:45 alarm, I’m usually semi-conscious by 5:00 and wide awake by 5:15.
Not this morning. Today, the beeps at Quarter to Six were the first things I heard.
They woke me from a very vivid dream. It concerned the Illuminati, Mad Donna Ritchie, PG Tips, Wasabi Enemas, The Titanic, Fenella Fielding, Mexican Promo CDs and Justin Timberlake dressed up as various members of the Seven Dwarves.
That’s the last time I eat a Turkey Sandwich or surf Bloggsville before bed…