d+1
Well, d-1 and d day itself seem to have slid by on greased wheelies of emotion, furious repression of emotion, cold analysis of the lack of certain emotions, and alcohol (plus ca change; plus ca meme chose, as Asterix the Gaul never said).
Below is my Valedictory email. Adjusted to make the guilty, the innocent and the dubious as unrecognisable as possible. If you think you recognise yourself or your employers in what follows, you’re mistaken. Any similarity, etc…
Folks,
As the man who holds the record for the most rambling and pointless
emails in the history of the company, I’ll try to keep this short. But
I’m promising nothing…Firstly, to everyone in
for my card and gifts. Totally unexpected, and very very much
appreciated.It’s been over fourteen years since I first came to interview one sunny
autumn day, in the basement of Eighth CircleHouse with Jerry Orbach and
felicity Mitford. A few days later, I was being telephone interviewed on
a Sunday Morning by John Goodman. The fact that he called so early in
the day meant that I was still in the bath, and, as a consequence, the
telephone interview was conducted with me sitting naked at my kitchen
table. When my interview was successful, I swore that, in future, all my
employment interviews would be conducted naked.
Feng Shui Bank were very open minded about that fact 
Seriously, it feels like yesterday since the start of this journey. But
it hasn’t been, and in the fourteen years, I’ve met more brilliant
wonderful, funny, humane, interesting, intelligent, honest, sharing,
cultured, freaky, funky individuals than I could ever have hoped to. For
someone who never believed he’d know more than three people, it’s been
an amazing experience.
I’ve learned more about this business than I ever thought possible.
Fourteen years ago, I had no idea what an Interest Rate Swap was. Now, I
know exactly what an Interest Rate Swap is. That’s Progress, folks
I’ve learned about management - both from watching the managers I’ve
been lucky enough to work under, and from the past 5 years as a manager.
I’ve made mistakes, and (I hope) learned from them. I’ve been blessed to
have, in
alongside me, to teach me, to inspire me, and to keep me on my toes.And, in New York, I’ve been honoured to feel, every time I’ve visited
the city, like a local rather than a tourist (which, if you’ve ever been
a tourist in New York, is a good thing, believe me); and to know that,
whatever battles I might have started (and there’ve been a few, as you
all know), the fires have never burned all the bridges, because the
respect for, and the faith in, each other’s abilities have always been
strong.
And I’ve learned a great deal about myself. Because, more than simply a
job to do, this company - from when it was called Bamboo Splinter Cap to, post merger Capitalist Bastard Markets (a subsidiary of What War Crimes? International)Â Â - has been a place
that’s helped me pinpoint my place in the universe, and to find out just
how much can be achieved when you get your head down, focus, and know
that the team you have beside you is as good as the teams I’ve been
privileged to work with.
And what teams: Not just in operations, but in the other support
functions - the Tech teams in all three centres, the legal guys, the hr,
the market risk, the accounts, the compliance and GA teams, the credit
groups, telephony, all of them. The trading and marketing teams,
without whom I wouldn’t have the large house in suburbia. Or the Ulcer
All of you are, and have been, as Mr Sylvester James once noted “Stars.
And you only happen once.”
It’s been a pleasure and a privilege to spend these fourteen years with
so many stars, and to know that, whatever happens from here on in,
you’ve been part of my life, and, hopefully, in many cases, will be for
a long time to come.
My contact details (in case anyone wants to send hate mail or resumes)
are: via vottd.com.
I’ll be having leaving drinks in
At: THE GABLE, 25 Moorgate
On: Thursday 09/27
From: How soon can you get there?
Entertainment: They don’t have a karaoke machine, but I’ll bring me tape
player and a megaphone.And, if any of you New York Guys have managed to read this far, there’ll
be an opportunity to tell me how full of it I am (see: I like feeling
like a native) on Friday October 5th at a bar in Manhattan. If you want to come along, post a comment for the details.
I’ll be there from - ooh, when do they open?
course 8)For now, good luck to all, and, to requote Mr James: “Everybody is a
star. And you only happen once.” Make that once count.
Love
Dx
(oooh, less than 1,000 words. Not bad at all)