diario
In other news, the Portugese police, apparently, want permission to check Kate Mc Cann’s diary for proof that she killed Little Maddie ™ .
What are they expecting to read:
“Got up late today, and had a nice breakfast (croissants, fresh OJ, 2 x coffee, and half a Tamazepam).
Sun was shining, and I got a nice mention on the Steve Wright show on Radio two (v. good).
Went for a walk around to wave at people and say hello to the nice police man (NPM; Dreeeamy). NPM smiled back, and i’m sure I saw a twinkle in his eye (v.v. good). Which is quite different to the eye thing that Maude - sorry, Madeleine - had - sorry, has.
Frowned at the not-so-nice-policeman (Snr Lumbago). Was a little stressed, so took one of the lovely pink pills that help keep my murderous rages down (xv good mmmmm). Ger Ger said he thinks the Portugese police are doing a wonderful job, and suggested they check the far side of the country, just in case what’s her name’s on her way to
The other two kids (OTK) haven’t been around for a day or two. I think they’re playing with Maud - sorry, Maddie. Oh, wait, no, she’s the one that’s missing. Yeah, ‘missing‘. Right. Mental note: Get rid of that hammer we used to ‘put those picture hooks up with’.
Lunch was a lovely sardine and panzanella salad (tasty), a couple of glasses of red (v good), the second half of this morning’s tammy v.v. good), and two cigarettes (boo).
Am waiting for a call from Angelina Jolie’s agent today. Still waiting for Madonna’s people to get back to me. I’d prefer Jennifer Anniston plays me in the movie, but I figure we can always ask the other two. Whether they have my daughter. By mistake, like.
Oh, wait… they couldn’t have her. Note: “It” is starting to smell. Must dispose of the ‘garbage’ tonight, once the paps have gone home for the evening.
Hmm, where did I leave those pills?
Alcohol: 4 units.
Prescription Tranqs: 0
Non-Prescribed Tranqs: Oooh, lots.
Cigarettes: Two (bad girl)
Dead tots in boot of Renault Mc Cann Megane: One. Oops, I mean missing, of course 
”