Half of they telephoned me Monday, whilst driving to his mother’s. We had a long and very sweet conversation about how I’d made the right decision, and the fact that the world seemed to have accepted it with a shrug was not something to even waste time on.
Then He mailed me re yesterday’s post:
“Ah, the anti-climax. I hear ya. Scroll back on byu and read my last day at Brand This! All upward and onward now. And keep this in mind for the future — it’s never as important to them as it is to you.”
Totally right, of course. For me, this is a potentially life-changing move. It’s something I’ve simultaneously fantasised and feared for some time. For them, it’s just another Monday / Tuesday with just another mini-crisis to resolve.
But I’m not an ego-maniac. No, really. Yes, I know I have a blog, but…
OK, so maybe I am an ego-maniac (I mean - duh - I have a blog), but I never, for an instant, believed that the world would stop turning, that the company would stagger backwards in a collective swoon of shock. There’ve been too many high level resignations this year for it to really be anything other than a half-expected event.
Still, it was a little disconcerting to feel so suddenly irrelevant. To them.
However, last night D booked the tickets to NY for our weekend of fun and loveliness. I’m booking my trip back home to see my parents. I’m arranging my diary for the next 6 weeks, and, all in all, I’ve decided to make this the last post about the chaos of where I am, and, as unca bobby said, start thinking of this as a beginning rather than an end. Consequently, it’s all gonna be about plans for the future, not ‘you won’t believe what they’ve done now,’ from here on in.
Apart from this post. Which is a bit ‘you won’t believe what they’ve done now.’ But funny. We hope.
Yesterday, the Japanese MD in charge of
Dear God, the Teeth! Sakapoopoo-Sanâ€™s just back from an extended vacation to the land of the Rising Sun, where he has had performed on him some of the most disturbingly obvious cosmetic dentistry ever witnessed. Seriously: Nashers of a bluey-white hue, with such intensly polished veneers that one can see one’s face reflected in the surface of each tooth. The work that has been performed on his mug is of the intensity and net effect of that which the coalition of the right has been performing on the street layout of Basra lately: noticeable; an almost definite improvement on what was there before; but disconcerting as fuck if you know the layout at all well. Even the ‘me soooo sad’ frowns are performed open mouthed, the better to display my ten million yen chompers with. Eventually, he smiles, and, after my retinas (retinae?) have recovered, tells me he values me Berryy highly, and follows it up with “So, you go do same thing at other company, huh?”
Oh, I see: Valued, but highly unlikely to be doing anything better. And by other company, you mean other tin-pot enterprise.
“No,” I say. “A higher level, more challenging, more complex job that requires me to stretch, to make the most of my talents and abilities, and to actively seek to bring on board the talents and abilities of others to make the process work. At —” And I name the bank. And he goggles.
Thasss right, mofo. A big bank. A very big one. Oh, this ole gal, she done gooood. But thanks for your concern.
Then he asks who I would recommend for my replacement (”So. How you recommen’ yo jaww?” Flash flash, twinkle twinkle. Wince). I know how it works: They’ve already chosen him. One of my current team. A rather non-descript little man, who has some ability, but is hampered by no experience outside this place whatsoever, a slight (fuckit, massive) deficiency in personality (he hasn’t got one), and an ego that makes mine look like a blemish; a mentality that uses phrases like “I deserve respect, goddammit. I’m a vice president.” Uh, no. Nobody deserves respect (when, by ‘resepct,’ you mean deference). It’s earned, and it’s entitlement is constantly re-earned. Especially from those further down the ladder, on whom one may piss, but about whom one should never forget one fact: They’re holding up the ladder.
Like I say, the decision has already been made. Arguing against it is futile (and not really any of my business, anyway). However, since he asked, I point out my concerns. The person will need to be very clearly shown the goals, objectives, and requirements of the role. The individual will need careful management and direction, and should not be allowed to run roughshod over the department. Unless you want a warzone by Christmas.
Very good advice,says the man behind the desk (”Berrry gooo vice, tan yew berrry mush” Flash. Dazzle. Sparklesparkle. Honestly, it’s at times like this one feels for Lohan, Winehouse and their ilk), and off I go, wondering why the ceiling in his room is twinkling like a school disco, and realising itâ€™s the reflection of his Bloomberg screens on his dentistry.
Two hours later, my direct boss in NY, who hasn’t even spoken with me, offers the job to the indivdual in question. I know this because the individual in question can’t wait to tell me that “They’ve acceeded to my demands and I’ll be getting the job, with my demands met.” Hmmm. Suddenly I feel like Leon Klinghofer.
Last night, watched ‘Army of Ghosts,’ and ‘Doomsday‘ with D. Was determined not to, but of course, couldn’t help, as always, succumbing to, sobbing and snotting and general gayness at the end of Doomsday. Never - Ne. ver. - have I been so consistently affected by a piece of TV. Sad. And very very gay.
Today, Japanese MD calls me in to tell me that Senior (Japanese) management has talked and they will recommend offering to the individual subject to my points. “Too late,” I say. “He was offered it yesterday.”
General surprise is expressed (imagine every badly dubbed Samurai movie you ever heard, accompanied by the sound efx from every Godzilla pic, the range of a busload of Kabuki Superstars, and the flashing blue-white light so beloved of epileptics with death wishes). And - the punchline - I’m asked to take individual to one side and explain that he got the job because of my recommendation, not because of the decision of the AD in charge in NY. Oh, and while I’m at it, can I bring my concerns up to him and make sure he understands he needs to alter his approach and attitude to the job?
All this to come from me, who’s leaving and has just had what little authority he might have retained pulled away by having the job offered without his even being consulted.
So lucky to be out of here.