gym
Not good today. Yesterday, I forgot to eat my banana (not a euphemism) thirty minutes before the gym. Ten minutes into the session, i suddenly realise I am sweating like a catholic priest in a leather bar. Worse: Like a bishop at a meeting of ‘abused children anonymous’. I keep on, push through the pain and the sweat, grit my teeth, and keep going. Mmmm. Sounds lovely. And it is. If it’s Friday night, the lights are low and someone else has just paid for dinner and a good wine. But on a Tuesday, when you face work that afternoon…
So, Today: Wednesday. I make sure to eat my banana (not a …. oh, grow up!). I get on the In-Line (my current bete noir; and like all my betes noirs, something that I will NOT be beatenby. Oh no. I WILL break him.) Ten minutes in, sweat. Pounding heart, and sweat, and pain in the thighs like I’ve never known at lunchtime on a Wednesday. But keep on going. It will pass.
Then, the pod packs in. Or, more precisely, the earphones die. I’ve been pounding along to the ab-so-lutely BANGING dance rhythms of Ultra Nate. At almost full volume. Well, like senapod tea, it keeps me going. Suddenly the BOOM-HISS-BOOMBOOM-HISS becomes tiss-tiss-tisstiss-click. I take out the earbuds. Shake them. Put them back in (all whilst keeping up a constant 85 rpm skating motion). Notihin. Tiss tiss tiss. Jesus. You’ve blown the phones. You had the volume so high, the bass so, well, basey, that you blew the phones.
Switch off pod, and endure the rest of the session. Twenty minutes on in-liner. Ten on the Cross-trainer, and ten spent sprinting on the treadmill.
Shower. Towel dry. Spray deodorant. Towel dry again. Put sopping wet gym kit in bag. Towel dry again. Get clothes from locker, whilst mopping up new sheen of sweat with towel. Pull on underwear. Towel self dry.
You get the picture. Get back to desk and discover my light green shirt is now dark green and soaking wet.
Put in iPod earphones and have my head torn from my shoulders by the insane noise level. Really, it never sounds that loud at the palace of pain. Or the gym, fnarr fnarr. Turns out, I’d got something in the earphone. Something that temporarily deadened the sound.
Sweat, most probably.
The soundtrack:
- Whatchulookin at (Full intention Dance Mix) Whitney ‘crakiswhack’ Houston
- Flawless (Jack ‘n’ Rory Vocal Mix) George ‘ooh look!a nice willy’ Michael
- Desire (Joey Negro Z Mix) Ultra Nate
- The sound of silence and my pounding heart (sweaty mix)