music hall friday pt II
Further to the recent discussion on the benefits of installing chips in the mentally ill (No, really; it’s on an official Government discussion paper. Look it up if you don’t believe me), comes my latest little ditty. And I know how you like little ditties….
Twitch ‘n’ Chips
I used to have a problem
With the Twitchin’
The visions, and the voices,
And the Itchin’
Until the doctors
Went and put the Chip in
Now everything Is under strict control
ch:
Intel Inside
They’ve altered my behaviour
Intel Inside
This chip has been my saviour
Since they’ve installed
The electrodes
I’m having far less
Ep-I-Sodes
I used to be confused a-
‘bout my gender
To put it bluntly: I was sent
And Sender
I tried to put my dick into the Blender
But nowadays I’m under strict control
2-3-4
Intel Inside
They’ve altered my behaviour
Intel Inside
This chip has been my saviour
Since they’ve installed
The electrodes
I’m having far less
Ep-I-Sodes
Intel Inside
The world is slightly fuzzy
Inside my ears
Is fine but slightly buzzy
Since I got chipped
I’m not so blue
And I can pick up
Radio two
The mania, the madness, the delusions and psychoses
The lunacy the ADD depressions and neuroses
Have gone away,
And life today
Is just a bed of Roses (shut it!)
Where once, I’d scrawl upon the wall
I print, right now, in Gentium (wait for it)
Oh life is better, now, by far
Since I’ve installed a Pentium
And now I’ve…
ch:
Intel Inside
They’ve altered my behaviour
Intel Inside
This chip has been my saviour
Since they’ve installed
The electrodes
I’m having far less
Ep-I-Sodes
Intel Inside
The world is slightly fuzzy
Inside my ears
Is fine but slightly buzzy
Since I got chipped
I’m not so blue
And I can pick up
Radio two
(repeat to fade, then sit rocking in a corner and picking desperately at imaginary lint).