Valley of the Trolley Dollies

I can’t frigging wait!

Remember that old Wham! T-Shirt? The one that said, very simply, in huge Black Block Capital Letters on a plain white background, “Choose Life“?

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The last time I was on a bicycle, the vehicle in question had all the latest features: Handlebars. Front wheel brakes, guaranteed to be extra strong, resulting in the rider being somersaulted over the handlebars in a similar style to the Youths of Minos, and a bell, guaranteed to get you pointed at and jeered if you ever used it.

As I straddled the bike on Sunday afternoon, I realised with horror that not only didn’t it have a bright shiny bell, or a horn, or, as one might justifiably expect in these digital music times, an mp3 player that honked out “Dixie” when activated; it had gears. Two sets. I mean, last time I checked, riding a bicycle was supposed to be as easy as - well, as riding a bicycle. You get on, you put your feet on the pedals, and you push them downwards alternately.

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